Sometimes you have to put yourself first or you'll always come last

Hello!! Hello....hi....
I've been gone. A very very long time. I've thought about my blog over and over again but I have been going through a jumble of emotions in my absence and had this weird kind of anxious writer's block so I just had no motivation or energy to write.
Basically....and without sharing every single thing that has happened over the last **mumbled number cause it's grossly high** months, my life has been super busy and chaotic and in the process of change.
I've actually tried like five times to write a blog post. Seriously, I have five drafts of half written posts about various different things, but I never followed through on posting them.
And then there was that nagging little voice I like to call my anxiety that would whisper "nobodyyyyy cares" or "don't botherrrr, seriously nobody caresssss" so that was holding me back too. (I feel I should clarify that those are actually just my internal thoughts and that I don't hear voices)
However, I'm currently sitting down with a cup of coffee and a candle burning and I'm finally (finally!) feeling like myself again. A miracle, I say!

I don't even know where to start right now, my mind is racing a mile a minute because I have so much that I want to say it before I forget or get too anxious to share it.
Since the last time I posted, a lot of things have happened.
I finished two semesters of post grad school, which means I'm done the entire program! I cannot believe a whole year went by and in that time I've gotten so much experience, learned a ton of things, and met so many amazing people (who will now just be distant memories in my heart because that's just how life goes).
During my summer semester, I got chosen to be Editor-in-Chief of my school's news website (well ok...first I was Managing Editor, which is still like, a high honour but then our EIC got a job and left so I got "promoted"). It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, super exhausting (8-10 hour days) but made me feel so happy and satisfied.
Then I had an internship I was supposed to start in June and they contacted me and told me they were shutting down and could no longer offer me it....three days before my start date. I loved that part. Really not nerve wracking, and did not make my life feel upside down. But c'est la vie. Two months later (after a lot of rejection emails) (rip self esteem), I finally found another internship that I started earlier this month and I really really enjoy it. (I'm currently procrastinating work I need to do for that by writing this post, sos)
I never realized how cool a partially work from home job would be until I started doing it. I only go into the office once or twice a week, otherwise I send most of my "professional" emails from my bed in my pyjamas.
Within my first shift at my internship, I already felt so welcomed and valued. It was such a refreshing and awesome feeling. Even the little busy work I do is enjoyable because I know that in a few weeks all my little tasks will add up and contribute to the publication of a magazine and my name will be in it! It's such a cool feeling.

So...yeah. I've been busy. During my summer semester I did four days of school and four days of work and if you do the math, that equals eight and there is not eight days in a week, so that means that I'm exhausted!!
At first, I really enjoyed the go go go life, it kept me occupied and on my feet, and I felt like I wasn't wasting away my summer days.
But then I realized how many months had gone by since I've written any blog posts, or even picked up a book to read. That's not like me. At my core, one of my biggest passions in life (besides like, french fries and puppies) is writing. And I totally stopped.
I wanted to believe that it was because I was so busy. I had one, maybe two days a week off and on those days I either had cleaning to do or errands to run, or just wanted to lie in bed like a potato and that's essentially why I stopped doing things I love.
But then you do it over and over, week after week, and "I'm just too busy or tired or xyz" becomes "I just don't feel passionate about this anymore" or "I have no motivation" and it's not very good.
I've never considered myself an aspirational person until about last year when I found myself daydreaming about the day my own book comes out, or being Editor-in-Chief of a renowned magazine, or...just having a job where I can write from home in my pyjamas.
So, I need to keep that passion. I can't just suppress it because I don't have the time or energy, but I can't create time when I genuinely have none, and I can't build up energy unless I take the time to rest.
What I thought was me keeping myself super occupied, running around from school to work to bed to work to hanging out with friends to bed to internship, and so on...really just became me living a life that I wasn't really enjoying.
It really hit me when I sat down and thought about the last time I felt genuinely excited to do something, and I realized....I couldn't remember.
Nothing excited me anymore, nothing made me feel like I was living my best life, and I would wake up in the morning, think about everything I have to do and everywhere I had to be...and I just didn't want to. It sucked.
Just a few weeks ago, I was lying in bed one morning before a shift at work (my retail job, not my internship), and I felt so numb and drained. The thought of getting up and spending six hours on a Saturday to go to a job that had no future or positive impact on me was just...depressing.
But I kept telling myself over and over again that it was for the money and to get out of the house, and although that worked for a while, eventually it just became too much.
I realized that I was staying at my job to keep my parents happy by having my own money and keep my understaffed managers happy by helping out and keep my friends happy by being able to afford going out often but then I said.....but what the heck am I doing to keep myself happy? Nothing, really.
I wasn't passionate or excited or content with my life. I was just going through the motions of a lifestyle that was keeping everyone around me satisfied, but I felt nothing.

One night, I walked out of work (on a Friday because I love working weekend nights since I have no social life or friends). I got into my car and sat there and just started bawling my eyes out. Like that gasping for air, I don't know why I'm crying, oh geez there's a guy in a car driving past me and we just made eye contact and this is embarrassing...kind of bawling. And I drove home like nothing happened.
Then I showered, went to bed, and woke up the next day and went to work pretending I was okay. And I did it again the next day, and the next day, and again and again.
But finally, one day I called my mom (once again sobbing because I'm a giant baby), and I had zero reason to be so upset except that it was a busy day and I was overwhelmed physically and mentally. She told me to quit. Like that day, on the spot. And I was like...who are you? In this house we don't do anything spontaneously, we sit and sleep on it for 47 days until we are good and ready to make a decision.
So I went home, cried for two more hours and told my parents that I just didn't feel good, I felt like I was depressed and that my life was hopeless and meaningless, and I was losing sight of myself and my aspirations.
"Just quit. The money will come back as soon as you start working again. Your mental health may not."
So I quit.

I want to do things that I enjoy and that make me feel alive and accomplished and meaningful. I want to be where I'm appreciated and valued and needed.
At the end of the day, I want to be taking steps (even if they're tiny baby steps) towards my goals and aspirations. I don't want to live a "one step forward, two steps back" lifestyle. Tiny baby steps are generally what I've taken over the last year, but to me that's enough.
Leaving behind a lifestyle that I personally outgrew and no longer enjoyed was one huge step for me, though. It scared me, and made me a little bit sad, but that's how I know it's a good change. Anyone with any type of anxiety would know that literally everything scares us, but it's those really really scary things that are so worth the fear.
Everyone deserves to be where they're valued and loved and important. In all parts of your life.

And I'm not saying that I wasn't appreciated or valued, because I really can't speak for how other people feel about me. But I felt like I wasn't.
You know on TV when people are in counselling sessions and the therapist says "now always say 'I feel these emotions' not 'you make me feel these emotions'", that's what's I'm trying to say. I felt these things, regardless of how other people were actually treating me.
Basically (a really wise phrase I came up with one night in the shower)...Someone who is unknowingly hurting you, is still hurting you. 
And that goes for anyone in any way, shape, or form in your life. Whether it's a friend or family or colleague, it's all the same.
Nobody deserves to feel unwanted or unappreciated or undervalued. You just don't. And I don't know why we often just accept the way people treat us if it's not the way we personally need to be treated.
I, for instance, am a big baby and if you say mean mean things to me I will cry right in front of you and get mascara all over my face because I'm a giant adult baby.

So, I don't want to start a riot and convince everyone to quit their job and leave their toxic situations and start a new life in a small European city, but if that's what you need to do right now then so be it my dude.
But I think I did want to share my story because I know (I hope) there is at least one (maybe two) other people in the world that this resonates with.
Are you living your best life right now, or just a life? Going through the motions of a super busy or really boring or same old thing life?
I hate change, it's scary and anxiety inducing but it is so worth it. A thousand times worth it. I don't like the phrase "the grass isn't always greener on the other side" because sometimes...it actually is.
This is kind of the whole point of this post...to share my experience (the stress, tears, frustration) and hopefully help other people in similar situations. I mean, helping people is literally the whole point of my blog right?

I'm glad to be back. I'm anxious of course, because sharing my thoughts on the internet is somehow scary as if the whole entire world reads my blog. (Although I could use that kind of Adsense)
I'm going to continue doing what scares me if it creates a positive change, and writing about things that I think other people need or want to hear. (Omg I started calorie counting a few months ago and I love it and can't wait to share about it because before that I was so against it but it changed my life ok I'll save this for next post)
Anyways, my mom told me not to write something mushy and depressing as my first post back, but I must. This is who I am mother! She can't stop me! Unless she'll stop buying me really green bananas and soy coffee creamer because I love those.

Oh yeah, and if you know anyone who's hiring a writer/editor/reporter/journalist, hook a sister up. I'm kidding but also so not kidding. 

Thank you for reading. Especially if you've made it to the end. And even more if you've read most or all of my posts. It means a lot. It's cool to be able to share my writing with other people. I've always kept it to myself growing up. But this year I got to share so many awesome articles for school with hundreds of readers and it made me feel so satisfied.
Me and my fragile little heart will be here writing away because I refuse to let anything stop me again.
I decided to put myself first for the first time in a really long time and ugh, I'm so happy I did.

Why do we fear change?

        Hi there! I hope everyone’s holidays were great and that you all got some great presents, ate good food, and enjoyed spending time with your families. 

         I have really enjoyed my winter break so far but I’ve been a lot busier than I anticipated! I haven’t had any free time to write or do anything on my looooong to-do list. 

         As we head into a new year, I decided to make today’s blog post about change. I personally hate New Year's and I think it’s totally overhyped. 

         I’ve never had an official “New Year’s Resolution” because again I think the whole concept is overrated. Although, last year I made a “goal” to walk 10,000 steps everyday and I actually stuck to it! So I decided to continue that and just incorporate it into my daily life. 

         I’ve always considered change the scariest thing in the world. I’m a very complacent person who lives within my comfort zone and I seldom step outside of it so for me facing a change head on creates a lot of anxiety. I usually avoid making big changes in my life because I think they will only make me regretful and scared. 

         However, recently I was thinking about this concept and I decided to flip my mindset about it and think about all of the good things that change has brought into my life. 

         This year has been full of changes for me and they happened so quickly and were so drastic that I don’t think I noticed they were happening at the time.

         The first half of 2018 was really rough. I hit what I think is one of the lowest points of my life. I went into it feeling, for the lack of a better word, depressed. I had graduated university in June 2017 but could not find full time work in my field. Everyday I woke up and either went to work and felt like a hopeless robot or woke up past noon and lay in bed until my hunger pushed me to get up. I spent hours, job searching online and it was the most disappointing, confidence destroying, and exhausting process.

         Halfway through the year I turned my life and my year around for the better. One night (at 2 a.m.), I sat in bed squealing with excitement because I found the perfect program that my heart has been passionate about since high school. At the time it didn’t feel like I was going through a life change because it felt so right and my heart was exploding with joy and anticipation. But soon after my excitement died down, I started feeling my usual anxiety and I just had to push through, ignore the intrusive thoughts and just listen to my gut telling me it was going to be amazing.

         So the biggest change that I went through this year was deciding to start post grad school for journalism and follow through on my passion for writing since elementary school! 

         Another huge change I made this year is what you’re doing right now. My blog!! I never in a million, billion, trillion years thought I would ever have the confidence to express myself so freely on the internet. (I mean, I used to vent on my Tumblr but no one ever read my posts so it was mostly me talking to myself in a public arena). 

         The reason you are reading my blog today is because I spent about five months contemplating everyday whether I should just do it. I daydreamed about all of the things I would write and how many people would benefit from hearing someone else talk about their anxieties, fears, and weaknesses and help others feel less alone. But again, my fear of making a change in my life held me back until one night I held my breath and just did it. I will never regret doing this and this has been such an amazing journey. 

         Everyday I’m more surprised by how many compliments I get on my blog and it makes me feel so happy to hear that my own friends and family are supporting my work! I’m so used to hiding in the corner and I hate being in the spotlight but I think this is such an intimate way of sharing my thoughts with anyone who’s willing to listen. It makes me feel so honoured that there are dozens of people who sit down each week to read my writing. 

         I've also gone through a huge change with my body. In high school I decided I was tired of being overweight and I wanted to change it. So far, I’ve lost about 55 pounds which is like….a lot. The past year has been so full of ups and downs that my weight has stayed about the same. It has been demotivating but at the same time I also have to appreciate that I made such a big change to my body and I’m already at a very healthy weight (but could stand to lose a few more). That “change” that I made years ago basically just turned into my new life. Lucky for this transformation because if I didn’t, y’all would be rolling me out of all you can eat buffets. 

     Other cool things I changed this year:

·     My hair (I’m obsessed, it cost an arm and a leg and it was the best change.) (Also... the phrase “if you can’t change your life, change your hair” holds strong regardless of what you’re going through)

·     My eating habits (I got into drinking over three liters of water a day and I feel great…I wish my skin got the memo but I will be patient)

·     My writing (I started off one class with my prof ripping apart my assignments and ended the semester with all A’s and constant compliments on my work and improvements)

·     My mindset!!! Like I said, I spent half this year thinking life was meaningless and I was a failure and it took months of effort to remind myself to turn my “failures” into lessons 

        I know that for some people it is extremely hard to face the fact that your current situation is leading you nowhere and is only making you more frustrated and unhappy everyday. You probably see it and feel it, but why aren’t you doing anything to change it? 

         If there is something you can actively do or change to make yourself happier, then why not do it? When you’re already feeling down, only good things can come from making a positive change. I’ve learned to just cross my fingers, do that thing that scares me and hope that it works out. If it fails, I’ll deal with it when it comes. As someone who has failed and wasted a year of her life, I can assure you that as long as you’ll still have a roof over your head and good people around you, making a change or taking a big risk will be worth it if it can make your life better. And if you’re anxious like me and always prepare for the worst, just remember that I did not prepare myself for the worst at all. I still failed and then recovered and I came out of it with a smile on my face and a good story.          

         I don’t want to be that sappy white girl that says “make 2019 your year of change!” but …I’m kind of saying that. I personally know a lot of people that are kind of stagnant in their lives right now. They’re low-key miserable and their jobs are leading nowhere, but I can only see this from an outsider’s perspective (and also because they vent to me about it on an almost daily basis). It’s hard for me to sit here and say “you need to make a change this year” but if you fall into the category of unhappy people, I really do urge you to consider what changes you can make to better yourself and your happiness. I know it’s terrifying at first but it is so rewarding to be at a point where you know you are in the process of change and you can feel the happiness and excitement radiating out of your pores. 

         So, I think you should just go for it. You have my complete support and if you fail, I will be your hype girl to help you get back on the horse and try again. Really though, as long as you’re not gambling your life’s saving at the casino, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.

         Anyways, thank you for reading! Enjoy your New Year's celebrations (bleh) and think about making that change. I’d love to know if anyone is planning to do something big in the next year because I love to hear inspiring stories from other hopefuls like me!!

Don't forget to love yourself first

          Hi friends, welcome to another blog post. If you’re new, welcome! I’m Stefanie, I’m a 23-year-old Canadian and I blog about life and all it entails. 

         Today I’m going to tell you a love story.

         Before you roll your eyes and click out—this is not a love story involving a man and I. In fact, it is a love story involving only one person: me. 

         I fell in love with myself about a year and I half ago and I haven’t looked back. That probably sounds a little funny if you’ve never experienced something like this but the story is worth it. 

         I’ve wanted to share this experience for a really long time. I know it’s been quite a while since it happened and I am completely over it but this is something that people usually keep quiet about and I want to share my story for those who can relate and for those who need to hear it.

_________________________________

         When I was 21, I got my heart broken by a boy I was in love with. When I was left to pick up the pieces, I quickly realized that I had lost a huge chunk of who I was and in order to put myself back together, I had to meet someone else—my own self.

         I found myself on dating apps trying to fill in the emptiness that he left. I’d talk to a guy and immediately he’d say, “so what are your hobbies?” That one little question left me sitting in shock unable to give a straight answer. I sat there for minutes staring at a blank chat box, thinking, “I honestly don’t know. I don’t know who I am.”

         That was the moment I realized this was going to take a long time of self love and picking myself back up in order to learn who I am and figure myself out. I spent years sharing my life with another person and engrained so much of my identity into the fact that I was a girlfriend before I was anything else in the world. And when I no longer had that title, I didn’t have an identity. I felt like I lost everything about myself. 

         (Before you judge me, please realize I was still exiting my teenage years when this occurred.) 

         Eventually I started going about my life picking out things I do on a daily basis that I enjoy and realized that they are part of who I am and what I love. 

         ‘Oh yeah, I guess you could say makeup is a hobby because I do it almost everyday.

         Hmm maybe reading is my hobby because I look forward to my morning coffee and light reading. 

         Shopping is certainly one of my hobbies, no doubt about it.’

         Slowly but surely I started to meet my own self again, like an old friend I had a falling out with. And I started to realize that I’m a really cool person. 

         I learned that if some boy couldn’t see my worth, that wasn’t at all reflective of who I am as a person. I’m great. I’m amazing. I’m beautiful and sassy and funny. I’m everything I could ever want to be and I will always be perfect whether anyone else in the world sees it or not. (Not you, Mom, I know you'll always think I’m perfect.) 

         It didn’t take me long to fall in love with myself if I’m being honest. Probably about the same time as it takes to fall in love with someone else. And I don’t mean love as in I’m a crazy lady who’s going to legally marry herself.

         I just realized that I’m worthy of love and the best person who can love me on every single day of the year is me. I know that I’ll never break my own heart, that I’ll always have my own back, and I’m the best person I can count on when I’m in need of a friend. I really and whole heartedly love myself. And that was something that took me years (about 21 to be exact) to figure out.   

         If I could give any advice to my younger self or to a young girl who’s just discovering herself, dating, and the world in general, it’s to never ever sacrifice your self worth for anybody else. 

         Before you can fall in love with someone, I think you should be sure that you know who you are and how much you’re worth (which is more than money can buy, of course). 
         Develop a self confidence that makes people turn their heads in your direction. Learn everything about yourself before you share your life and your heart with someone else. You should be able to look yourself in the mirror and recognize the face looking back at you as the most beautiful and captivating person in the room at all times. 

         If you make the same mistake that I did and just throw yourself into a relationship before you’re ready and know who you are as a human, you’re going to lose so much of yourself to someone that may end up taking advantage of your naivety. 

         I didn’t know my self worth. I was so desperate for any boy to validate my existence that I just accepted the first one that came and wanted him forever. So I didn’t know that when that one boy eventually starting taking my naïve heart for granted and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be with me or not, it was up to me say, “No. I’m not here when you want me and gone when you don’t. Don’t call me when you make up your mind.” I didn’t do that because I didn’t know I was worth a thousand million trillion more dollars than he took me for. But I know it now. 

         I know for the next person that I am worth everything and the right person will see that in me from the start. I’ll know when to walk away and when to fight for love. I’ll know that when I sense him pushing me away and questioning whether he wants to be with me, I’ll leave in a heartbeat because someone who doesn't see my worth 24/7 doesn't deserve me at all.

         I promise to myself (and you have my word now that it’s in writing) that I will never lose myself and my values to anybody in the world. I won’t sacrifice the things I love because it doesn’t fit in with someone else’s lifestyle or because they can’t see the value in the things that I enjoy. 

         The road to falling in love with my own self has been very long but also very busy. I don’t even have the time or patience to fall in love with anyone right now. It’s actually starting to get to the point where people are questioning whether I’m going to spend my life alone or if I’m "not into boys anymore", and omg if I ever bought a cat I think everyone would assume the rest of my life is doomed to cat lady status. But I’m happy, and that’s all that truly matters. 

         One day, I will find the one who’s meant for me but in the meantime I’m okay with that person being the face I see when I look in the mirror. I refuse to sacrifice my self worth for anyone that doesn’t see the sun shine out of my butt.

         If you’re young and you still have the time to spend falling in love with yourself, I recommend doing this above anything and everything. If you think you’re too old to waste a year or two on just yourself, keep in mind that falling in love with anyone else depends on your ability to love your own self before you give some of that love away. I know it may seem like a waste of energy and time to just fall in love with yourself but I can guarantee it will be worth it. I can sit here and tell you how much you’re worth but you’ll never truly know until you figure it out yourself.

         Remember that who you are when you’re alone and at your happiest is probably who you truly are as a person. If you become an alter ego when you’re around your significant other but you’re not truly happy, is it really worth it for a little bit of arm candy?

         I hope anyone who’s reading this who needed a little push to just focus on themselves for a little while got the motivation to. Hopefully that doesn’t mean that you have to dump your boyfriend and move to the Maldives but if that’s that what it takes then, so be it.

         
         Wishing everyone an amazing Christmas and that you remember to express some self love this holiday season. Buy yourself an expensive gift gurl, you deserve it. And don’t forget to fall in love with yourself too. 

My Top Drugstore Makeup Products

             Hiya! Welcome to my third blog post! My name is Stefanie, I’m a 23-year-old from Canada, and I’m a writer and journalism student. 

            This is one of the first (of many!) blog posts where I will discuss makeup and beauty products. I also plan to cover mental health, lifestyle topics, food and fitness, and my own personal experiences and life lessons.

            This post is a continuation from the one I posted a few days ago which you can read here. I wanted to write about my favourite makeup products altogether but I found that it was way too long so I decided to separate them.

            This article is all about my favourite drugstore makeup products. If you found my previous post was too boujee (as the kids like to say) for your lifestyle, then this one should be more relatable for you! I have more experience in drugstore products because I am very frugal (or so my mom tells me) and I always try to get the most bang for my buck. 

            I’ve been wearing makeup for about ten years now, but only got into it as a hobby over the past three or so years. The products I list are organized by when you apply them to your face, so they don’t go in order of preference.

            For reference, I have light-medium skin with a neutral (olive in the summer) undertone and it is very dry all year round. All of the products in this post have worked for my skin and most are repeat purchases that I swear by. 

            Every item is hyperlinked in the name and will bring you to a page where you can purchase it. Most of the links lead to Wal-Mart Canada so I apologize if this is inconvenient for you.

            I hope you enjoy this post and leave a like or comment (or both!) about any products you’d like to discuss, have questions about, or any tips/recommendations you can offer!!

            Happy reading and happy shopping!

a. Primer (liquid)

E.L.F. Illuminating Primer Mist ($8):

            After getting halfway through my first bottle of Primer Water (which I raved about here) and contemplating buying another one, I decided to research alternatives (because $$$). I found this ELF one and honestly…it’s pretty good. It’s not exactly a primer water, but it is a spray on face primer. I like spraying my face instead of having to use my hands to spread a cream. My only problem with the ELF one is that I have to do it before I apply any other product (especially liquid eyeliner) or it just smears everywhere because the spritz is so strong. But once it dries, it makes a pretty good base. This is also really great for dry skin. It may add a little too much moisture to oily skin, so you’d probably benefit from a pore filling primer if that’s your case. If you want to try a spray on primer (and I didn’t convince you to buy Primer Water in my last post) then I recommend starting off with this really cool product. 

b. Primer (cream)

Rimmel London Lasting Finish Primer ($10):

            I approve of this primer. I bought it to go with the matching foundation (which I will rave about in just a bit) and I found that my skin loved this in every season: hot and sticky or cold and dry. It just glided over my face cream and provided a pretty good base for my foundation. I can’t really say if it made my makeup last any longer but I think it did what it intended to do. Again, the only reason I stopped using it is because I discovered spray primer and I’ll do anything to avoid touching my face and aggravating my dry and acne prone skin. I could see this working for any skin type-it just creates a perfect base for foundation. If you’re interested in a drugstore primer (because high end primers are crazy expensive) then definitely try this one.           

c. Eyeshadow Primer

E.L.F. Shadow Lock Eyelid Primer ($2):

            I have to say, this might actually be my all time favourite eyeshadow primer. I am on probably my 7^thor 8^thtube. The only downside is that it dries out and finishes a little quicker than I’d like. But for the price I can’t complain if I have to replace it three or four times a year. The application is amazing, it’s the best when it’s brand new and in the first few weeks of its life. It makes my eyeshadow last and it keeps my oily af eyelids under control. I actually first used this because I noticed that my eyeliner was transferring a lot. So most days I use this without eyeshadow and just as a way to dry out my eyelids and keep my liquid liner in place. It’s great and I will keep repurchasing forever. I trust this primer with my life. I’ve tried a few other drugstore eyelid primers now and none of them compare. You have to try this.

d. Liquid Eyeliner 

NYC Liquid Eyeliner ($4):

            When I say holy grail, I mean holy grail. If you wear liquid eyeliner and you have not tried this GO NOW. Actually don’t go yet. Wait until it goes on sale at Walmart for like $3. I’m frugal, can you tell? Anyways, I love this stuff. I’m on my third or fourth tube and I first tried it two summers ago. So, #1 it lasts forever, six months to be exact, and #2 it is worth repurchasing. The first time I tried it, I hated the tip of the applicator, and then after a while I got used to it and realized it actually makes drawing wings a breeze! I use liquid liner every single time I wear makeup. So the fact that I use this about five times a week and one tube lasts six months is amazing. I always had issues with my previous high end liquid liner smearing when my eyes watered (as I complained about in my post), but this one has rarely given me that issue. If you’re trying to get into liquid liner, this is perfect. And if you’re experienced, this is also perfect. It’s just really great. 

e. Eyebrow Mascara

NYX Tinted Brow Mascara ($9):

            This is very good brow mascara. I haven’t used this in a few years because I’ve tried many other drugstore products, but I think it’s the best one I’ve tried so far. I first bought a tube of the shade Espresso, and after bleaching my hair a few summers ago I realized it was way too dark for my hair. So I moved down to the shade Brunette and it matched pretty well. The applicator is great and doesn’t give you those awkward, patchy clumps in your brows. It didn’t dry out for a long time and overall was a good product. I will eventually repurchase this if I don’t find another drugstore product that I like more. If you want more definition in your brows, you’ll likely have to follow with a powder but this is great on its own for natural brows. It is definitely worth a try. 

f. Eyebrow Powder

Rimmel London Brow This Way Brow Sculpting Kit ($8):

            I bought this a few months ago when I realized my Anastasia powder was getting old. I actually just googled a dupe for ABH because I wasn’t down to pay $30 again. And a good dupe it is. I find it literally identical in colour and texture to ABH. I haven’t touched the wax part because I like the lightness of powder but maybe one day I’ll try it. This is very basic but it does the job and it’s travel friendly so it's worth a try. Has anyone used the wax part in this? 

g. Eyeshadow Palette 

Milani Everyday Eyes Powder Eyeshadow Collection ($11):

            I was recently gifted this palette for my birthday and I immediately fell in love with it. The powders are pigmented but not powdery and the colour pay off is absolutely amazing. I have the palette called Must Have Metallics. The colours are absolutely gorgeous—gold and rose gold go so well with dark brown eyes. I love the colors because they are so shimmery, so if you’re into mattes then this isn’t the palette for you. I find that I can just swipe one shade across my lid and I’m good to go! No blending necessary so it’s a dream for a lazy girl. You do have to be light handed because of how pigmented they are but that’s not a downside at all. And the price is amazing too. 

h. Foundation 

Rimmel London Lasting 25 Hour Finish Foundation ($10):

            This is very very very good stuff. I depend on this foundation to last me on long days and even on nights out. It can withstand anything. One of the main highlights of this is the fact that it’s transfer proof. That is 100% true. I’ve always had transfer issues with other foundations, but I could sneeze into a white t-shirt while wearing this foundation and not a speck would get on the shirt. It’s excellent for dry skin and I couldn’t see anyone with oily skin having issues with it either. The shade range is kind of lame but I think shade 200 Soft Beige is my match. The formula is the thickest I’ve ever used, but I’ve never had issues blending it out with a sponge. I think the thickness is what makes it transfer proof—the thin and runny foundations are the ones that just sit on my skin and come off onto anything. However, it is completely full coverage. So if you’re not into thick, full coverage foundations then you probably won’t like this. But I recommend this to anyone looking for a good drugstore foundation.

i. Concealer

Maybelline New York Fit Me®Concealer ($8):

            I swear by this concealer. I’ve gone through over five tubes already and I will keep repurchasing it because I have not found anything that beats it. This concealer can cover my genetic dark circles from hell like they’re no match. It also covers redness like it’s nothing. I want to be buried with a tube of this concealer in my hand. The consistency is perfectly blendable and creates a smooth and flawless finish. However, I always have to set it with powder because it will crease in my under eye wrinkles. But that’s with any concealer. One tube lasts me over half a year, so it’s well worth the price (but never buy it full price, wait for it to go on sale for about $6). I recommend this concealer to anyone and everyone who needs a good, high coverage concealer. I’d also go so far as to say that it’s a complete dupe for the Nars concealer. Agree or disagree?

j. Setting Powder 

NYC Smooth Skin Face Powder ($5):

            If you read my last post, where I mentioned that there is a drug store dupe for the Laura Mercier setting powder, now is my time to share it. I’m on my second container and it lasts about a year. Which is crazy considering it’s only five dollars!! When it goes on sale, it’s about three dollars. I really did like the Laura Mercier powder but it’s pricey considering the fact that I bake my under eyes and end up wiping off the excess powder. Watching the powder (and my money) dissipate before my eyes made me very sad. So I switched to this drugstore powder and haven’t looked back.This stuff is so good and it has been my key to every single makeup look I’ve done in the past two years. I use this every time I do a full face of makeup and it has NEVER let me down. It’s great for baking, but like any powder it does dry out my under eyes and accentuate my wrinkles, however that’s my own personal problem and not the product’s fault. I wouldn’t recommend using this on your entire face if you have dry skin, but it would probably work great for soaking up moisture and adding a matte finish to oily skin. Everyone who wears setting powder needs to try this and see how it changes your life too.

k. Mascara

Maybelline New York Full Fringe Impact Lash Sensational Mascara ($7):

            I must admit, Maybelline makes some really good mascaras. This is no exception. I was introduced to this product by Zoella, who repeatedly raved about it in her product reviews and makeup tutorials. For some reason, I didn’t think I’d like this because the curved brush head turned me off. I’ve always gone for thick, straight wands (hence why the Too Faced Better Than Sex was my fave mascara in my last post). I finally grabbed this while it was on sale and from the first time I used it I fell in love. I will also mention that drugstore mascaras are the one category where I have A LOT of experience, so the fact that this is #1 says a lot for me. I’m on my third or fourth tube and I will not stop purchasing it. This mascara is excellent for both length and volume (I find you have to wiggle it a lot at the base of your lashes to add maximum volume, but the extra effort is worth it). It did not make my lashes clumpy no matter how hard I’ve tried, and separates each lash better than anything I’ve tried. The formula is perfect and doesn’t dry out for months. I’m on month six with my current tube and it’s just starting to die (just in time because I only give my mascaras half a year of life before I chuck them!). If you have not tried this mascara, you have to now.

l. Bronzer

Annabelle Perfect Bronze ($8):

            I was recently gifted this bronzer in a gift set last Christmas and although I’m not a “bronzed goddess”, I had to try it out and I really like it! I actually replaced this for the Hoola bronzer that I was using (I only stopped because it got old, nothing was wrong with it at all). The container is great, the formula is amazing, and it’s not a powdery mess at all. I only use this on nights out or when I have time to do my makeup (because I suck at putting on bronzer and need an extra hour just to buff it out). I will continue to use this until it finishes or gets old (probably the latter). If you’re looking for a cheap drugstore bronzer, I’d suggest this one.

m. Highlighter 

Pixi Beauty Blush Duo ($18):

            I’m on the fence about whether Pixi is a drugstore brand, especially considering the high-ish price of this product, but I’m going to consider it because you can only purchase it from drugstores in Canada. I was gifted this highlighter/blush combination last year and I really like it! I completely ignore the fact that the red section is supposed to be used as blush and the orange shade is highlighter. To be honest, I just swirl my brush in both colours and apply it as a highlighter! And it looks amazing every time. Very subtle but still noticeable, it gives the “I put highlighter on my cheekbones but I didn’t drown myself in powder” look. It’s very classy and pretty. This blush/highlighter is part of a kit set that I have which you can check out here. I don’t have a lot of experience with drug store highlighter because this is the one product that I’d prefer to use high end (aka Becca which I gushed about here). But this two in one set is worth a try!

n. Setting Spray

NYX Matte Finish Setting Spray ($10):

            This stuff is very popular in the beauty community for a reason. It’s really good. I’m on my second bottle and I absolutely love it. It’s marketed on the NYX website for $10 but I know in my local drugstore it retails at about $8 when it’s on sale. I’m not a huge fan of the dewy foundation look which is why I chose the matte spray, and it works even on my dry skin! I just have to be careful to not overspray on the dry areas of my face. This is marketed towards people with oily skin to help mattify it, but I’d say it works for any skin type if you’re looking for a matte look. This is super cheap and I feel like I can go crazy with spritzes and not feel guilty about wasting money every time I spray it (as I mentioned in my post about the All Nighter spray). This is definitely worth a try and I will continue using this forever. 

            Notable mention: I spent quite a while debating which setting spray to choose as my favourite. I still wanted to mention the Pixi Makeup Fixing Mist. Once again, it is a little pricey to be considered drugstore, but it’s really really good. I finished my bottle a while ago but I still think about it and I will repurchase it one day. The one thing I looooved about this spray is that it actually melts all your makeup so you get a seamless finish. So if this fits in your budget, then it is 100000% worth a try. 

o. Lipstick

Maybelline New York Superstay Matte Ink™ Liquid Lipstick ($10):

            As I mentioned in my last post, I never wear lipstick. But of course, I’ve tried so many just to find something that suits my thin lips, mostly cheap drugstore lipsticks that I could throw away if they didn’t work. The one lipstick that I swear by (and will wear daily once I get the courage and $$$ to get my lips plumped a bit) is Maybelline Superstay. I bought this in the shade Pioneer which is a dark, blue toned red. It’s a gorgeous colour and compliments my olive skin really well. The best part about this lipstick is the fact that it is waterproof AF. I’m convinced this could withstand absolutely anything. The first time I wore it, I put it on and spent about 20 minutes taking various (embarrassing) selfies. After I was done, I went to take it off and….I couldn’t. You know how normally with lipstick, you just take a tissue and with one wipe it’s gone? Not with this guy. The lipstick would not budge. It was stained onto my lips. But that’s not a bad thing! I had to put makeup remover on a cotton pad to take this off, and thankfully that worked like a charm. So this is definitely waterproof, food proof, and kiss proof. It’s very good and the shades are really pretty. Of course, it’s super matte, so if you a) like a shiny lip gloss finish or b) have dry lips, then this may not be for you. But it’s so worth a try if you want a darn good matte lipstick. 

Bonus Round #2

            Once again, if you read my last post, then you saw that I did a bonus round of products. That is because you may have noticed that I did not mention a blush product in this post (disregarding the Pixi highlighter/blush combo). I don’t wear blush because I’m weird. But actually it's because my skin naturally flushes so I really don’t feel I need extra pinkness. Instead of blush, I’d like to recommend two more drugstore products that I really enjoy.

Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge ($13):

            There is a lot of debate over these sponges, and I am personally on the support side. I LOVE these sponges. They are amazing, and I will even go so far as to say that I like them better than the name brand blenders. Do you agree or disagree? I find that they need a long soak in warm water to give the best effect, but that’s just a little tip and not a downside. I use the flat side for blending my under eye concealer and the pointy part for blending the foundation on my face. They’re just perfect. Definitely worth a try if you want a drugstore version and the price difference between these ($13 for two) and name brand ($26 for one) is insane. I actually linked to these sponges on Amazon Canada because they’re about $2 cheaper than what Wal-Mart retails them for. Do you love these sponges too?

One Direction Our Moment Perfume ($37):

            I am manically laughing to myself as I write this. I cannot believe I’m advertising a perfume that is over five years old and was made by a boy band. But oh my gosh it smells so good. I originally bought this when it first came out in 2013 and I was still a hardcore directioner. I loved the smell and was sad when it finished but I didn’t repurchase. (It was about $50 for the small bottle back then). A couple of months ago, I was walking around my local drugstore (Shoppers Drug Mart for the Canadians reading this) and I walked past the discount perfume shelf. For the past few years, I’ve always checked that shelf to see if the One Direction perfume was on there because I know it’s not really on the market anymore. Lo and behold, I found the perfume!! And guess what? It was $19.99 for the 3.4 ounce bottle. Which is absolutely crazy. I provided a link to this on Amazon Canada but even that retails at about $37 when I only paid $20. Anyways, this perfume is very pretty smelling and has a flowery smell but is also really sweet. The scent doesn’t last long on my body but it’s not at all over powering and I just love it. If you ever find it for a sweet deal like I did, then I completely recommend that you pick it up. I had a co-worker ask me a few weeks ago what perfume I was wearing and I started cackling because I had to tell her it was One Direction (she was expecting me to say something fancy like Marc Jacobs). This is good stuff. 

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            This concludes the end of another very lengthy blog post. If you can’t tell, I am very passionate about all things makeup.

            

            I hope you enjoyed reading this and will follow me for more content. I also hope you’re considering trying some of the items I shared in this or my last post!

            If you’ve tried some of the things that I mentioned, did you like them as much as I did? Anything you disagree about? Any tips you have to offer about specific products? Or just questions about an item in general! 

            I’d love to hear from other members of the beauty community. I could talk about makeup forever.

            Thank you for reading and have a lovely day☺