Five Books To Read This Year

            Hey y’all! I hope your year is off to a great start. 

            I know I’ve been MIA for over two weeks and I wish I could say “oh I’ve been SO busy and have not had one day off!” but that would be a lie. I’ve actually just not been in the mindset to write lately and that’s about all.

            I do plan to discuss this issue in my post about living with anxiety. A huge issue I face is that I lose motivation really quickly when I’m anxious (which is, you know, always), so lately finding the energy to write this simple blog post has been hard. 

            Anyways, today’s post is about books! I’m sure there is a number of people who made a New Year’s Resolution to start reading more this year so consider me your source for a few good books to get you into the groove (even though I’m two weeks late). 

            I absolutely love reading, it is one of my favourite hobbies. And I really encourage reading a book as not only a way to escape your phone/TV/computer but it’s a really effective way to escape your negative/frazzled/worrisome thoughts. And if you read this post then you’d know how much I recommend reading to anyone with anxiety or just an overwhelming mind/thoughts/worries in general. 

            I am going to list these in order of my least to most favourite, with 1 being worst and 5 being best. Enjoy!

1. I’ll Be Gone in the Dark- Michelle McNamara

            This was actually the book I read during winter break and I just finished it so it’s fresh in my mind. This is also one of the few non-fiction books I’ve read in my life and I really enjoyed it. 

            This non-fiction book was published in February 2018 and was written by Michelle McNamara. It is about the Golden State Killer—a man who commit 13 murders, over 50 rapes, and 100 burglaries over a 12-year span. McNamara was intrigued and was intent on being part of the team that found the suspect and had him locked away. Unfortunately, she died in her sleep before the book could be published and was still in the midst of writing it. But a team of writers put the book together and published it two years after her death and only two months before the Golden State Killer was found!!

            This book was recommended by quite a few writers and journalists in April 2018 when the Golden State Killer was arrested. I decided to venture into a genre I don’t usually read and give it a go. And I’m really glad I did. The book was captivating and you can tell that McNamara was so passionate about doing investigative research on this man. She worked so hard on not only writing the book but finding out as much information as she could get and it shows. The research, interviews, and DNA sampling was really really interesting.

            The only downside is that the book didn’t really have a conclusion, mostly because McNamara never prepared one before her death. There was no ending with “and the killer is this man!” because at the time of publication, they didn’t know who he was! I knew that going into it but it was a little frustrating that it was just “who could do this?” with little answers. Also, if you’re a woman who lives alone, I probably wouldn’t recommend this just because it was about a lot of rape and murder that occurred in the middle of the night and this could scare you. I personally wasn’t scared, but that’s just because I’m more scared of ghosts and centipedes than I am of intruders. 

            If you’re interested in venturing into true crime or non-fiction books, I recommend giving this one a try, especially now that you know who the suspect is!!

2. Divergent- Veronica Roth

            I don’t really remember how this book ended up in my possession but I must say it was one of the better books I read last year. So good that I had to watch the movie right after to see how the book got adapted into a film. 

            This book reminded me a lot of The Hunger Games, in that it’s set in a futuristic world with different factions that people are separated into. It is a fiction book, written by Veronica Roth and is the first book in a trilogy. The novel revolves around the main character, Beatrice “Tris” Prior. She grew up from a family that comes from one specific faction “Abnegation” but doesn’t feel she identifies as it anymore once she reaches adulthood. She ventures off into another faction “Dauntless”, which of course disappoints her parents. Eventually, she realizes she has extra abilities and identifies as “Divergent”, hence the title. 

            I enjoyed this book because it was very fast paced and intriguing and constantly kept my attention. I had no issues with following along and I really enjoy action books, which makes no sense because I do not like action movies. The only negative was the fact that there was a lot of relationship drama involved, which for me doesn’t really attract me. If I wanted to read a love novel, I would, you know? But of course, incorporating love and relationships is what attracts a lot of people and creates drama, so I respect it. The movie was equally as good as the book and if I do ever run out of books to read one day, I will definitely finish the rest of the series!

            

3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J. K. Rowling 

            In my humble and honest opinion, no list of great books is complete without at least one Harry Potter book. I recently got into HP a few years ago after years of thinking it was overhyped and for nerds (I really don’t know why I had that misconception). I read the first book during a plane ride and I was immediately hooked. I bought the entire book set last year and have read six of the seven original books (I’m holding back on the seventh one because I don’t want it to end!). I personally love the series because these are the types of books that completely consume you and transfer you to another universe. Also, when you read thousands of pages of the same characters, they eventually start to feel like family. So I recommend getting into the series if you want something to commit to, which you will because Rowling’s writing is so captivating and amazing.

            The Half-Blood Prince is the sixth book in the series and the most recent one I read, but that is not at all why it’s my favourite one (so far). Without giving too much of the story away, it basically revolves around Harry Potter as he becomes an adult, which is different from the other books when he was younger. He spends a lot of time with Dumbledore because of his special abilities to fight Voldemort (hopefully that isn’t too much of a spoiler). Quite a lot goes on in the 650 (!!) page book, so I can’t really say a lot without spoiling it all. I will, however, say that if you know anything about the shocking plot twist in the series, it happens in this book. 

            I adored this book a lot and even though it took me forever to get through, that didn’t stop me from loving it. The only cons of all of the Harry Potter books is that there are some dry sections that probably aren’t necessary and kind of drag on, and then other times there’s a big scene that goes by too quick for you to process. Otherwise, I just love Harry Potter. You can definitely read Half-Blood Prince without having read any of the other books because Rowling does a short recap about all of the characters at the beginning of each book to catch you up. 

4. The Alibi- Sandra Brown 

            I scored this book as part of a 3 for $10 deal at Indigo in the summer and I bought it because the description said it was about murder and I was intrigued. It took me about ten pages to absolutely fall in love with Sandra Brown as an author and I now own a bunch of her books.

            This fiction novel is about a man and a woman mostly, but also has a mix of other characters involved as well. It’s definitely a suspense thriller and it was the first thriller I read and totally got me hooked on that genre. The main character, Hammond Cross, has a one night stand with a female doctor. Shortly afterwards, she is accused of murder but uses Cross as her alibi, stating that she did not commit the crime because she was with him at the time. So it is a love story but with a lot of suspense, crime, and law involved.

            This was one of the few books I’ve read that is the definition of a page turner. I normally can put down a book and finish reading it whenever I want, but I barreled through this book because I just had to know what happened and the suspense was amazing. Hence why I became an instant fan of Sandra Brown.

            I think the only con of this book was that at times it was a little redundant and dragged on. But I knew that if I got through one small section that was boring, the rest would be amazing. This book is on sale for so cheap, I mean mine was literally $3 so if you ever happen to see it, definitely pick it up. 

5. My Sister’s Keeper- Jodi Picoult

            This book changed my life. I adore absolutely everything about it and I read it nearly ten years ago and it still holds a huge place in my heart! I was introduced to My Sister’s Keeper in high school when I chose it to write a book report on it. It’s a looooong book, 432 pages to be exact, but I wanted to take on the challenge of a big book.The reason I’m an avid reader and writer today is largely because of how amazing this book was.

            My Sister’s Keeper is a fiction novel about a girl named Anna who was born to an older sister named Kate, who has cancer. Anna was created as an organ and blood donor for her older sister. She spends most of the book resentful of her sister because of the fact that she’s spent a huge part of her life in the hospital being a savior. 

            I loved absolutely everything about this book and as far as I can remember, there was nothing specific that I disliked. The biggest part that knocked my socks off was the complete twist that happened around three quarters into the book. It was so severe, I remember gasping, slowly putting down the book, and staring at a wall until I could comprehend what happened. Side note: they did NOT include the twist in the movie which to this day infuriates me. So if you’ve seen the movie and know the plot, or saw the movie and disliked it, it’s still worth reading the book because the story is vastly different. Another huge thing I loved was that it was actually written in various different voices. Usually books are narrated by either one third person voice or by the main character, but in this one each chapter was narrated by a different person with a different personality and perspective and it really made the story interesting. It also made me fall in love with Jodi Picoult’s writing and I’ve read quite a few of her books since and none have let me down (but this one is my favourite). 

            If you are up for a long, but very easy and enjoyable read, I 10000% recommend this one. It will (hopefully) change your life and make you appreciate your good health a lot, as well as just give you something to look forward to reading everyday!! 

Why do we fear change?

        Hi there! I hope everyone’s holidays were great and that you all got some great presents, ate good food, and enjoyed spending time with your families. 

         I have really enjoyed my winter break so far but I’ve been a lot busier than I anticipated! I haven’t had any free time to write or do anything on my looooong to-do list. 

         As we head into a new year, I decided to make today’s blog post about change. I personally hate New Year's and I think it’s totally overhyped. 

         I’ve never had an official “New Year’s Resolution” because again I think the whole concept is overrated. Although, last year I made a “goal” to walk 10,000 steps everyday and I actually stuck to it! So I decided to continue that and just incorporate it into my daily life. 

         I’ve always considered change the scariest thing in the world. I’m a very complacent person who lives within my comfort zone and I seldom step outside of it so for me facing a change head on creates a lot of anxiety. I usually avoid making big changes in my life because I think they will only make me regretful and scared. 

         However, recently I was thinking about this concept and I decided to flip my mindset about it and think about all of the good things that change has brought into my life. 

         This year has been full of changes for me and they happened so quickly and were so drastic that I don’t think I noticed they were happening at the time.

         The first half of 2018 was really rough. I hit what I think is one of the lowest points of my life. I went into it feeling, for the lack of a better word, depressed. I had graduated university in June 2017 but could not find full time work in my field. Everyday I woke up and either went to work and felt like a hopeless robot or woke up past noon and lay in bed until my hunger pushed me to get up. I spent hours, job searching online and it was the most disappointing, confidence destroying, and exhausting process.

         Halfway through the year I turned my life and my year around for the better. One night (at 2 a.m.), I sat in bed squealing with excitement because I found the perfect program that my heart has been passionate about since high school. At the time it didn’t feel like I was going through a life change because it felt so right and my heart was exploding with joy and anticipation. But soon after my excitement died down, I started feeling my usual anxiety and I just had to push through, ignore the intrusive thoughts and just listen to my gut telling me it was going to be amazing.

         So the biggest change that I went through this year was deciding to start post grad school for journalism and follow through on my passion for writing since elementary school! 

         Another huge change I made this year is what you’re doing right now. My blog!! I never in a million, billion, trillion years thought I would ever have the confidence to express myself so freely on the internet. (I mean, I used to vent on my Tumblr but no one ever read my posts so it was mostly me talking to myself in a public arena). 

         The reason you are reading my blog today is because I spent about five months contemplating everyday whether I should just do it. I daydreamed about all of the things I would write and how many people would benefit from hearing someone else talk about their anxieties, fears, and weaknesses and help others feel less alone. But again, my fear of making a change in my life held me back until one night I held my breath and just did it. I will never regret doing this and this has been such an amazing journey. 

         Everyday I’m more surprised by how many compliments I get on my blog and it makes me feel so happy to hear that my own friends and family are supporting my work! I’m so used to hiding in the corner and I hate being in the spotlight but I think this is such an intimate way of sharing my thoughts with anyone who’s willing to listen. It makes me feel so honoured that there are dozens of people who sit down each week to read my writing. 

         I've also gone through a huge change with my body. In high school I decided I was tired of being overweight and I wanted to change it. So far, I’ve lost about 55 pounds which is like….a lot. The past year has been so full of ups and downs that my weight has stayed about the same. It has been demotivating but at the same time I also have to appreciate that I made such a big change to my body and I’m already at a very healthy weight (but could stand to lose a few more). That “change” that I made years ago basically just turned into my new life. Lucky for this transformation because if I didn’t, y’all would be rolling me out of all you can eat buffets. 

     Other cool things I changed this year:

·     My hair (I’m obsessed, it cost an arm and a leg and it was the best change.) (Also... the phrase “if you can’t change your life, change your hair” holds strong regardless of what you’re going through)

·     My eating habits (I got into drinking over three liters of water a day and I feel great…I wish my skin got the memo but I will be patient)

·     My writing (I started off one class with my prof ripping apart my assignments and ended the semester with all A’s and constant compliments on my work and improvements)

·     My mindset!!! Like I said, I spent half this year thinking life was meaningless and I was a failure and it took months of effort to remind myself to turn my “failures” into lessons 

        I know that for some people it is extremely hard to face the fact that your current situation is leading you nowhere and is only making you more frustrated and unhappy everyday. You probably see it and feel it, but why aren’t you doing anything to change it? 

         If there is something you can actively do or change to make yourself happier, then why not do it? When you’re already feeling down, only good things can come from making a positive change. I’ve learned to just cross my fingers, do that thing that scares me and hope that it works out. If it fails, I’ll deal with it when it comes. As someone who has failed and wasted a year of her life, I can assure you that as long as you’ll still have a roof over your head and good people around you, making a change or taking a big risk will be worth it if it can make your life better. And if you’re anxious like me and always prepare for the worst, just remember that I did not prepare myself for the worst at all. I still failed and then recovered and I came out of it with a smile on my face and a good story.          

         I don’t want to be that sappy white girl that says “make 2019 your year of change!” but …I’m kind of saying that. I personally know a lot of people that are kind of stagnant in their lives right now. They’re low-key miserable and their jobs are leading nowhere, but I can only see this from an outsider’s perspective (and also because they vent to me about it on an almost daily basis). It’s hard for me to sit here and say “you need to make a change this year” but if you fall into the category of unhappy people, I really do urge you to consider what changes you can make to better yourself and your happiness. I know it’s terrifying at first but it is so rewarding to be at a point where you know you are in the process of change and you can feel the happiness and excitement radiating out of your pores. 

         So, I think you should just go for it. You have my complete support and if you fail, I will be your hype girl to help you get back on the horse and try again. Really though, as long as you’re not gambling your life’s saving at the casino, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain.

         Anyways, thank you for reading! Enjoy your New Year's celebrations (bleh) and think about making that change. I’d love to know if anyone is planning to do something big in the next year because I love to hear inspiring stories from other hopefuls like me!!

Don't forget to love yourself first

          Hi friends, welcome to another blog post. If you’re new, welcome! I’m Stefanie, I’m a 23-year-old Canadian and I blog about life and all it entails. 

         Today I’m going to tell you a love story.

         Before you roll your eyes and click out—this is not a love story involving a man and I. In fact, it is a love story involving only one person: me. 

         I fell in love with myself about a year and I half ago and I haven’t looked back. That probably sounds a little funny if you’ve never experienced something like this but the story is worth it. 

         I’ve wanted to share this experience for a really long time. I know it’s been quite a while since it happened and I am completely over it but this is something that people usually keep quiet about and I want to share my story for those who can relate and for those who need to hear it.

_________________________________

         When I was 21, I got my heart broken by a boy I was in love with. When I was left to pick up the pieces, I quickly realized that I had lost a huge chunk of who I was and in order to put myself back together, I had to meet someone else—my own self.

         I found myself on dating apps trying to fill in the emptiness that he left. I’d talk to a guy and immediately he’d say, “so what are your hobbies?” That one little question left me sitting in shock unable to give a straight answer. I sat there for minutes staring at a blank chat box, thinking, “I honestly don’t know. I don’t know who I am.”

         That was the moment I realized this was going to take a long time of self love and picking myself back up in order to learn who I am and figure myself out. I spent years sharing my life with another person and engrained so much of my identity into the fact that I was a girlfriend before I was anything else in the world. And when I no longer had that title, I didn’t have an identity. I felt like I lost everything about myself. 

         (Before you judge me, please realize I was still exiting my teenage years when this occurred.) 

         Eventually I started going about my life picking out things I do on a daily basis that I enjoy and realized that they are part of who I am and what I love. 

         ‘Oh yeah, I guess you could say makeup is a hobby because I do it almost everyday.

         Hmm maybe reading is my hobby because I look forward to my morning coffee and light reading. 

         Shopping is certainly one of my hobbies, no doubt about it.’

         Slowly but surely I started to meet my own self again, like an old friend I had a falling out with. And I started to realize that I’m a really cool person. 

         I learned that if some boy couldn’t see my worth, that wasn’t at all reflective of who I am as a person. I’m great. I’m amazing. I’m beautiful and sassy and funny. I’m everything I could ever want to be and I will always be perfect whether anyone else in the world sees it or not. (Not you, Mom, I know you'll always think I’m perfect.) 

         It didn’t take me long to fall in love with myself if I’m being honest. Probably about the same time as it takes to fall in love with someone else. And I don’t mean love as in I’m a crazy lady who’s going to legally marry herself.

         I just realized that I’m worthy of love and the best person who can love me on every single day of the year is me. I know that I’ll never break my own heart, that I’ll always have my own back, and I’m the best person I can count on when I’m in need of a friend. I really and whole heartedly love myself. And that was something that took me years (about 21 to be exact) to figure out.   

         If I could give any advice to my younger self or to a young girl who’s just discovering herself, dating, and the world in general, it’s to never ever sacrifice your self worth for anybody else. 

         Before you can fall in love with someone, I think you should be sure that you know who you are and how much you’re worth (which is more than money can buy, of course). 
         Develop a self confidence that makes people turn their heads in your direction. Learn everything about yourself before you share your life and your heart with someone else. You should be able to look yourself in the mirror and recognize the face looking back at you as the most beautiful and captivating person in the room at all times. 

         If you make the same mistake that I did and just throw yourself into a relationship before you’re ready and know who you are as a human, you’re going to lose so much of yourself to someone that may end up taking advantage of your naivety. 

         I didn’t know my self worth. I was so desperate for any boy to validate my existence that I just accepted the first one that came and wanted him forever. So I didn’t know that when that one boy eventually starting taking my naïve heart for granted and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be with me or not, it was up to me say, “No. I’m not here when you want me and gone when you don’t. Don’t call me when you make up your mind.” I didn’t do that because I didn’t know I was worth a thousand million trillion more dollars than he took me for. But I know it now. 

         I know for the next person that I am worth everything and the right person will see that in me from the start. I’ll know when to walk away and when to fight for love. I’ll know that when I sense him pushing me away and questioning whether he wants to be with me, I’ll leave in a heartbeat because someone who doesn't see my worth 24/7 doesn't deserve me at all.

         I promise to myself (and you have my word now that it’s in writing) that I will never lose myself and my values to anybody in the world. I won’t sacrifice the things I love because it doesn’t fit in with someone else’s lifestyle or because they can’t see the value in the things that I enjoy. 

         The road to falling in love with my own self has been very long but also very busy. I don’t even have the time or patience to fall in love with anyone right now. It’s actually starting to get to the point where people are questioning whether I’m going to spend my life alone or if I’m "not into boys anymore", and omg if I ever bought a cat I think everyone would assume the rest of my life is doomed to cat lady status. But I’m happy, and that’s all that truly matters. 

         One day, I will find the one who’s meant for me but in the meantime I’m okay with that person being the face I see when I look in the mirror. I refuse to sacrifice my self worth for anyone that doesn’t see the sun shine out of my butt.

         If you’re young and you still have the time to spend falling in love with yourself, I recommend doing this above anything and everything. If you think you’re too old to waste a year or two on just yourself, keep in mind that falling in love with anyone else depends on your ability to love your own self before you give some of that love away. I know it may seem like a waste of energy and time to just fall in love with yourself but I can guarantee it will be worth it. I can sit here and tell you how much you’re worth but you’ll never truly know until you figure it out yourself.

         Remember that who you are when you’re alone and at your happiest is probably who you truly are as a person. If you become an alter ego when you’re around your significant other but you’re not truly happy, is it really worth it for a little bit of arm candy?

         I hope anyone who’s reading this who needed a little push to just focus on themselves for a little while got the motivation to. Hopefully that doesn’t mean that you have to dump your boyfriend and move to the Maldives but if that’s that what it takes then, so be it.

         
         Wishing everyone an amazing Christmas and that you remember to express some self love this holiday season. Buy yourself an expensive gift gurl, you deserve it. And don’t forget to fall in love with yourself too. 

I'm not rude, I'm just anxious!

            Hi there! My apologies for my absence (as if anyone noticed or cared) for over two weeks but I’ve been so swamped with end of semester projects that I haven’t had any extra time to do anything (I’ve barely had the energy to brush my teeth every morning). 

            After a hearty two weeks of binge eating and stress sleeping, I can say with confidence and a ginormous smile on my face that I completed my first semester of post grad school and only cried four times. 

            I hope everyone is doing well and if you’re a new reader, thanks for joining! All my information is on the side bar and in my introduction post. You’re in for a wild ride, my friend.

            Today I want to talk about something that has been plaguing my mind for the past few weeks. 

            As I’ve mentioned in a few posts already, I have anxiety. It’s not crippling anxiety that doesn’t let me function on a daily basis, it’s just a constant little buzzing in the back of my mind that stops me from living my life fully and pushes me away from some people, things, and experiences. It’s actually recognized as “high functioning anxiety” which sounds like a rip off of generalized anxiety disorder but for hundreds of thousands (maybe even millions?) of people, it is a very real experience.    

            The key feature of high functioning anxiety is that you'd never be able to tell that internally our minds are racing a mile a minute but (and you guessed it) we function pretty well. I’ve actually had dozens of experiences where I was sitting in a room full of people and was having an anxiety attack and not a single person noticed. She hides it well.

            The past few weeks have been rough and my anxiety levels have been at their peak levels.  

So I’ve actually had those little incidents, sitting in a crowded room or surrounded by my closest friends and family. While I did not cry or hyperventilate or scream, I did change character for a few minutes.

            When someone with high functioning anxiety has an anxiety attack, there are certain things we do that are symptoms and can be easily overlooked. I’ll list a few of mine that are probably pretty general and common:

·     Shutting down and saying little to nothing to others

·     Staring into space

·     Inhaling and exhaling deeply and repeatedly 

·     Snapping at someone who tries to initiate conversation 

·     Isolating from others 

·     Shaking legs, biting nails/fingers/lips 

Those are just a list of things I’ve found that I do when I’m having a very mild anxiety attack and I’m around people and have to put on a brave face and smile through it.

            In the past week (in two separate caffeine induced incidents because I’m a fool), I was caught doing things on that list (hmm maybe she doesn't hide it that well) and was asked by multiple people if I am okay. Of course, I perk up, smile and say, “oh yeah! I’m fine! Just tired!” (She’s not fine she’s panICKING)

            Here’s where the title of this post comes in. For the past few weeks, in an effort to ease myself of my symptoms, I’ve been trying to avoid things that make me anxious. And that’s why I keep asking myself if I come off as rude or if maybe it’s obvious that I’m internally struggling.

            Contrary to what it may seem if you know me in person, I’m actually not shy, like at all. I’m a very loud and sarcastic person and when I’m talking to the right person or people, I always have something to say. (I also have a lot to say when I’m typing because I think my fingers have more energy to talk than my mouth does).

            However, lately I’ve been so overwhelmed that I’ve just wanted to be alone. I’d walk into class and pick a seat farthest away from everyone else just so I can sit in silence for a while. It’s not that I don’t like anyone, it’s just that my brain is racing a mile a minute and I do not have the energy to engage in “lovely weather, eh?” conversations when inside my mind is exploding. I’m not rude, I’m just anxious! 

            I also have a very specific and weird fear of parties. Specifically, birthday parties. I don’t know what happened to me in my childhood that caused this phobia-like fear, but Sigmund Freud would have a field day with my brain. 

            So if you’ve invited me to a party in the past uhh…..ten years... and I’ve had any excuse under the sun to not come…I’m not rude, I’m just anxious!! One day, with the right therapist and maybe even overcoming my anxiety altogether, I’ll be able to attend a party alone and not feel like the world is caving in on me. For now I’m going to politely decline your invitation. Thanks, though. 

            When it comes to those parties that I was forced to go to, if I’ve shut down and didn’t engage in conversation and I came off as too pretentious to talk to anyone….I’m not rude, I’m just anxious!!! 

            I think one of the hardest things for people with any sort of anxiety disorder is to explain how they personally feel inside, especially to someone who can’t relate or understand. That’s why I make myself 100% available and understanding to anyone who needs someone to listen and offer advice. (And what’s so crazy to me, is that about three quarters of my friends actually have their own anxiety that they vent to me about). 

            Anyways, if you could relate to anything I said in this post, then I offer you a hug and a high five (actually, maybe not the high five because I’m anxious and my hands are probably sweaty). If you can’t relate but learned anything about anxiety, then consider me satisfied.

            Please know that whatever you are going through, you will never be alone in your struggles. I encourage, and even hope, that anyone with anxiety would reach out to me to talk about whatever you’re going through because I would love to help and hear from someone who can relate. It would help me feel less alone too!  

            I’m also wishing everyone (especially my socially anxious peeps) good luck this holiday season because I know the overwhelming amount of socializing during this month is a lot for people like us. Alcohol helps, though so…..something to keep in mind.

            If you catch anyone sitting alone at a party in the next few weeks, keep in mind that maybe they want to be alone to mentally recover or breathe through a mild anxiety attack. The best line of defense if you see someone like that is to just treat them like a deer in the forest and let them come to you first. 

            Oh and if you see me sitting alone at a social gathering and your conversation starter is, “wow you’re so antisocial”, I have one thing to say to you: I’m not antisocial, I’m just anxious! 

Happy holidays y’all☺

Christmas Gift Ideas!

🎵🎵It’s the most expensive time of the year🎵🎵

          Hello! I hope you're doing well. Before I start this post, I just want to thank everyone who’s been reading some or all of my blog posts so far! Your likes and comments mean a lot. If you’re reading my blog but haven’t told me about it, please do! You have no idea how much it means to me when someone comes up to me and tells me they enjoy reading my posts. 

            Today I’m going to provide some gift giving ideas because I love gift giving so I thought I’d share some of my ideas with people who are drawing blanks this year. 

            I feel very lucky every Christmas season because I have quite a few people to buy for and I’m very happy that I have so many great people around me to give gifts to. It’s worth every cent to have good people who love and care for me.

            My biggest tip I’ll share is that I make a little note on my phone and I list the names of everyone I have to buy for. Then beside each name, I put a budget which varies from person to person. That's just easier for me to keep track of what I want to spend and stay within a reasonable budget.

            The next thing I do is list everything that I think each individual person would enjoy. If I have a price for each item, I add that beside it.

            For the next few weeks I’ll be adding and subtracting to this list on a daily basis. I basically spend every waking minute thinking about things everyone would like. It’s also this time of the year that I can be caught sitting alone in silence and all of sudden shoot up and scream “MOM WOULD LOVE THAT” before I frantically add my idea to the master list. 

            My list layout is just something that keeps me organized and makes the busy holiday season a little bit easier. I obviously do spontaneously buy things while shopping that I didn’t plan to buy someone, but I always add it to the list later to keep myself on track. 

            Now I’m going to share some bullet point ideas of Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus gifts for your friends and family.

       

For the Makeup Lover

            If you know someone who’s into makeup, consider giving them a gift of essentials. The only key here is to not buy anything made for specific skin tones (aka foundation or concealer). 

·     Mascara

·     Setting spray

·     Highlighter (Becca Champagne pop if you want to splurge!)

·     Eyeshadow palette 

·     A nice lipstick

·     Face spray (not mentioned in my previous posts but this is a good one)

·     Blending sponge

If you want specific ideas, feel free to check out my top faves post here and here.

For the Skin Care Queen

            If you have someone who’s big into taking care of their skin, then consider putting together a gift with key skin care items. Again, you’ll want to be careful of buying items made for specific skin types (like oily or dry skin).

·     Face mask (either sheet or clay mask or both!)

·     Face cream

·     Eye cream

·     Lip balm

·     Treatment for lips/hands/feet/other body part

·     Face spray 

·     Face toner (I swear by this one)

·     Face oil (this one is my life)

This just made me consider writing an entire post on my fave skincare products….

For the Body Conscious Pal 

            This can be combined with the skin care stuff but these are also some great things to make a whole gift with. 

·     Body lotion

·     Body scrub

·     Hand cream

·     Foot cream with fuzzy socks (for a deep treatment experience)

·     Nail polish (can also branch into a manicure/pedicure set)

·     Body wash and a loofah 

·     Body spray

For the Hair Care Gal

            This is a nice idea for someone who dyes their hair often or generally cares for their hair. This is also a nice list of things that everyone uses and would help them if you know they can't splurge for themselves on stuff like this.

·     Shampoo (a "boujee" one or a good purple shampoo for someone blonde)

·     Conditioner (go boujee or go home)

·     Hair mask 

·     Hair oil

·     Leave in conditioner

·     Hairspray

·     Hair treatment (such as a pre-styling spray)

·     Hair brush (one of those cool detangling ones!)

For the Tea Lover

            As I write this, I’m starting to wonder if I’m just writing lists of things I want because so far I am all of the people I’ve listed. Once again, as someone who loves tea, getting more tea and tea ware is a dream come true. 

·     Loose tea or a premade sample kit (David’s Tea will always be the best)

·     A pack of tea bags or an infuser  

·     A cute mug 

·     Matcha (I recommend this one)

·     A matcha kit (I’d say only if you know they like matcha already or you think they will like it)

·     A travel mug 

The only thing missing from this list that is required to make tea is water. Please do not include water in your gift. That would be really weird. 

For the Coffee Lover 

            This kind of goes hand in hand with the tea lover. But if there’s anything I’ve learned in life, it’s that tea lovers and coffee lovers have two completely different personalities…

·     Coffee (a nice flavoured one, something someone wouldn’t buy for themselves) 

·     A nice big mug 

·     Coffee-Mate powder (if you don’t like Coffee-Mate that’s your opinion but you’re wrong)

·     A flavoured syrup (vanilla or hazelnut is probably the safest option for personal preferences) 

·     A fancy stirring spoon (because why not?)

·     A milk frother (if it’s in your budget $$$ or you really like the gift receiver)

·      I want to include instant coffee in this list but it’s disgusting and you might as well give them coal. It would taste about the same. 

Once again, you do not need to supply the water. Or the milk. 

For the Baker

            I’m really making this whole post about myself I think. Oh well. If you know someone who likes baking or is trying to get into it, considering buying them some items from this list.

·     A cupcake pan (with silicone cupcake liners!)

·     A Bundt cake pan, loaf pan, or brownie pan 

·     Piping bags and a set of tips 

·     A baking cookbook 

·     Cookie cutters 

·     Measuring cups 

·     A cute apron 

·     A spatula, whisk, and rolling pin 

For your friend who talks about wine a lot more than necessary

            We all have one.

·     A bottle of good wine (or two)

·     A wine glass set (one with a funny saying that maybe hints at the fact that you’re concerned about how much wine your friend drinks)

·     A really nice wine stopper (as if they’ll even open the bottle and not finish it)

·     Wine glass markers (even though your friend probably doesn’t share their wine)

·     A cheese board 

·     Crackers and snacks (for when the bottle finishes and they have the munchies)

You could consider buying grapes and cheese but it goes without saying to probably not leave those wrapped in the bag for days….

            It will probably be no surprise that I actually made a note on my phone with all of things I thought I should include in this list. There are still some miscellaneous items that weren’t part of the categories I listed but are still nice things to add to gifts for more substance or variety.

·     A candle (or two or three or seven)

·     Chocolates or candy (or both!)

·     A calendar (for the coming year…..duh)

·     Pens and pencils (or both!)

·     A notebook (I can’t tell you how many people buy me notebooks because they know I’m a writer but I don’t have the heart to tell them I haven’t written my thoughts onto paper since 2003)

·     Homemade food (I always include homemade cookies in my gifts because I’m a housewife apparently) 

·     Christmas themed socks

·     A scarf or pair of gloves (or…..both!)

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           Thank you for reading this very festive post! 

            If you have any good gift ideas you’d like to share, feel free to comment them below. 

            I also wanted to add that any of these gifts could be put into a decorative basket with ribbons and cellophane rather than just throwing them into a bag. It’s a nice way to display your items. 

            I hope that this gave you some ideas and alleviated some of the stress of holiday gift giving this year. I know that when life is hectic it’s hard to sit down and think about what to give all of the people around you. But everyone deserves something special to open on Christmas morning.

            Hopefully my ideas sparked some thoughts for you!

            Thanks for reading and happy hohoholidays.